The Office
Dwight Schrute was in spades one of the reason thatThe Officewas so iconic . Every episode foretell a raw shenanigan good manners of the assistant ( to the ) regional managing director , and he was arguably the most repeatable character on the show . ThroughThe Office ’s nine - season run , Dwight ’s hilarious one - liners and unforgettable speech have coined eternal amounts of merchandise . Even though the series envelop up back in 2013 , Dwight and his arsenal of unforgettable lines , are still relevant to this day .
We ’ve total 5 more of Dwight ’s adept quote to our tilt , for a total of 15 that are guarantee to shock , or cause laughter reckon on the context .
Updated on September 15th , 2020 by Derek Draven : As mentioned in our updated presentation , we ’ve added 5 more of Dwight ’s best quotes to the list , each take from a different season of The Office . Each quote tot up up the character perfectly and reminds us all of that one employee in the office who hoi polloi kept moving farther out from , rather than nigh towards .
“Hey, you know what’s even cooler than Triceratops?”
Season 5 ’s " Lecture Circuit , Part 2"featured a scene with Jim discussing dinosaur , where he reminisces about his dad taking him to the Natural History Museum when he was seven , and buying him a moldable Triceratops toy dog , which is one of his fond memories .
It was n’t enough for Dwight however , who see fit to ruin the consequence by replying,“That ’s cool . Hey , you know what ’s even cool than Triceratops ? Every other dinosaur that ever existed!“Unfazed , Jim rebutted with"Didn’t seethatone coming . "
“I am not a bad person.”
" I am not a tough individual . When I entrust Staples , I take some of their leads with me , but I never mean to employ them . What did I intend to do with them ? Who knows . Maybe keep them as a souvenir . Maybe use them . "
Dwight had a lot of problem keeping cart track of his thoughts and motivations , as evidenced by this citation where he attempt to showcase his moral orbit , broken as it is . Whatever item he tried to make fell off the wagon almost directly , reaffirming his less - than - stellar reputation .
“Yeast infections - there are a huge number of yeast infections in this county. Probably because we’re downriver from that old bread factory.”
" I think one of the greatest things about modern America is the computerization of medical phonograph recording . As a military volunteer Sheriff , I can expect up anyone ’s psychiatric records or surgical histories . Yeast infection - there are a huge number of yeast infections in this county . Probably because we ’re downriver from that old kale factory . "
It ’s hard to evidence what ’s creepy - Dwight ’s delight at the ability to insure masses ’s secret psychiatrical and medical account or his unenviable principle over what causes a barm infection . As Toby had once remarked,“I’m just sorry the public schoolhouse scheme failed him so badly . "
“A three ounce fetus is calling the shots. It’s so badass!”
" Pam is constantly throw up because of the pregnancy . If she eats something the fetus does n’t care , she is screwed . It ’s amazing . A three ounce foetus is calling the shots . It ’s so badass ! "
Pam ’s pregnancy bring on the typical symptoms tie in , including morning time illness . by nature , Dwight would all fluff the reasoning behind morning malady , believe it to be the fetus " calling the dead reckoning " by resist food Pam deplete . What ’s even more troubling is the fact that Dwight wanted to father a child with Angela !
“I don’t believe in coddling people. In the wild, there is no health care.”
" What did I do ? I did my job . I cut down benefits to the off-white . I saved this companionship money . Was I too rough ? possibly . I do n’t believe in coddling people . In the wild , there is no health care . In the wild , wellness caution is , ' Ow , I injure my leg ! I ca n’t carry ! A lion eats me and I ’m all in ! ' Well , I ’m not idle . I ’m the Leo . You’redead ! "
The Season 1 episode"Health Care"saw Dwight get an additional privilege , which cursorily work to his head faster than a famish cheetah . When tasked with pick a healthcare plan , Dwight decided to virtually eliminate it altogether , thereby abusing the capitalistic system of rules in the uncollectible manner potential . Not only was his reasoning counterproductive to the company ’s overall bottom line , but his doctrine of analogy was positively tummy - turning !
“Would An Idiot Do That?”
This is perhaps one of the most well - known thing Dwight has ever say . He was always one to handle every word of honor that came out of Michael ’s mouth as gospel , and therefore ask everything seriously - even the most pathetic things .
" Before I do anything , I ask myself , ' would an idiot do that ? ' And if the answer is yes , I do not do that thing,“Dwight explains to the documentary film crew after Michael asked him,“what ’s the most important affair I ever order to you ? " . This rally lead in the talking head scene where Dwight speaks this line , and this would become one of the most iconic example in the series .
“I’m Somewhere Between A Snake And A Mongoose.”
When his coworkers had victories , no matter how small , Dwight always made it his commission to top them . This was the case when , in the time of year 3 episode"Merger " , Toby remark to Pam that he had won a race . Dwight heard this and now had to ensure that everyone knew just how fasthewas .
" I am quick . To give you a book of facts full stop , I ’m somewhere between a Snake River and a mongoose . And a panther . "
This results in Pam assure Dwight that she ’ll time him as he runs around the construction . Humorously , she had no intent of ever partake in Dwight ’s challenge and had even bring a thermometer instead of a timer to this effect .
“I Have A Wig For Every Single Person In The Office.”
" Yes , I have a wig for every single person in the office . You never have it away when you ’re gon na need to bear a passing resemblance to someone . "
This special quote took home in what was certainly one of the most surprising , strange successiveness of the serial publication . The docudrama crew show several unlike gibe of what appear at first two be place worker such as Phyllis , Stanley , Meredith , and Kevin - but turns out to be Dwight in a wigging . This is bizarre and hilarious at the same time , and only Dwight could deplume off such a unknown segment .
“…Second Only To The Neck.”
" hoi polloi undervalue the power of nostalgia . Nostalgia is truly one of the greatest human weaknesses … 2d only to the neck . "
Whenever Dwight was in his element - his beet farm - the thing he said got even stranger . He feel even more well-heeled referencing flak technique and the like when he was at nursing home , which made for some very memorable quotes .
“Pan.”
Dwight and Pam ’s relationship is one of the most interesting yet under - apprehended inThe Office . In the origin , their kinship was mostly that of two cobalt - prole and conversance . It was n’t until a little later when their friendship really began to blossom forth . These two truly share some beautiful moments , and Dwight ’s friendly relationship with Pam was one of the good look of his character .
However , watching the exchange between these two in earlier seasons is very funny . In time of year 2 , Dwight suffers a concussion and begins showing a series of humourous symptoms . Perhaps the funniest was when he started being uncharacteristically decent to Pam , and when he walked away from her desk , he randomly said ,
" Ok , see you by and by , Pan . "
